Dealing with the suicide of a good friend



I just came home from Yixin’s wake after lingering there for a long time looking at a slideshow that featured photos of her.

They opened the service with 2 of her favourite songs, Beautiful Saviour and Through It All.

That made me cry.

Someone shared a few words, three friends came up to share memories of her, and her younger sister read the letter she left for her friends and loved ones.

They then closed with a prayer and then sang Give Thanks, another favourite of hers.

She was only 34.

I distinctly remember the first time I talked with her, we had an extended conversation at MacDonald’s late into the night as I discovered we both shared a similar childhood – one that involved a schizophrenic parent. That probably led to the mental health problems later in her life.

I never realised her struggle with depression with so severe. She was so lively, so bubbly, always enthusiastically regaling me with tales of her travel adventures every time I saw her.

I guess the happiest people can also be the saddest ones too.

Angeline once told me that her frequent travels were just her way of escaping from her troubles. I suppose then that we never realised how very true that statement was.

I recall the very last time I saw her, she was hosting her British friend, Donald, and we all had a good chat together. How was I to know that mere months later, that she would take her life?

The wake was well-attended, with visitors spilling out of Grace Hall, the largest room available at Mount Vernon. She had an abundance of friends and was, and still is, well loved.

Yet no matter how many relationships she enjoyed, she could never find the love and belonging she was seeking for.


Out of the 4 suicides I’ve experienced, between my cousin that I wasn’t close to, my ex-boss, Chester Bennington, this most recent one has affected me the most. We’d shared our lives together, especially in the years 2012-2013 and then some.

I feel so sad for her.

Am tearing as I type this.

I miss her.

Good bye Yixin.

Here’s a video of her baptism song that was sung in remembrance of her:


One thought on “Dealing with the suicide of a good friend

  1. Suicide is on the rise. Not sparing people that shine during the day but struggle with melancholy at night. People that wear theirs on like a badge are not spared too. We often take the little companionship we share for granted. It might just be what is stopping another from taking the rope.
    I believe more awareness should be made, to handicap the hooded evil that pluck victims outta their beddings.


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