I checked in at the psychiatrist yesterday as usual for my monthly appointment. I sat at the waiting room and read a little before I was called in.
He thought that I looked good. I suppose the flat white I had just minutes before concealed the lack of sleep the night before.
We went through the usual.
How’s life? Fine.
Blood pressure. 110/70.
Heart rate 84 bpm.
Any questions? None.
I’m seeing the psychologist once a month, we’re doing CBT. Oh, good.
He wrote a prescription and we said goodbye.
All this in 15 minutes.
Then I paid $90 for consultation and a bit more for my medication.
And some people wonder why people stop going to their psychiatrist.
Now I have nothing against him. He’s a nice guy and one of the best doctors I’ve seen. Excellent bedside manners. Acute observation skills. Always willing to answer my endless litany of questions on mental health issues.
But the fact is, whenever I’m stable, seeing the doctor is quite a chore. I’ve once asked him, when can we stop consultations?
“3 years without a relapse,” was his answer.
Lovely. I’ve not gone past one year (in the past 5 years since I’ve been diagnosed with bipolar) without a depressive episode or mania. So I guess we can only wait and see.
It feels pointless yet I still faithfully see him once a month. Why? I guess I choose to see it as a good thing, being stable. It’s a good thing. I suppose it’s kinda like exercising regularly even though you don’t actually have to – it keeps you healthy.