How I know I’m hypomanic

Dear Diary,

It’s 12.27am now and I can’t sleep. Perhaps I can’t sleep because I just woke up to cook for my ever hungry little sister. Perhaps it’s because I stared at my handphone for too long before bedtime. Perhaps I didn’t do enough deep breathing just now as I was lying in bed. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.

In any case, I suspect that I might be slightly hypomanic. The symptoms are all there. They are namely,

  • Decreased need for sleep (instead of a regular 12 hours, these past two days I average 9)
  • Talking rapidly (and a bit incoherently according to my sister)
  • Lots of thoughts in my head even when I’m attempting to concentrate
  • Lots of new and creative ideas’
  • Spending on random items (good thing I can’t spend indiscriminately because I’m kinda broke so I can only buy one or two iTunes songs for $1.48)
  • Increased thirst
  • Not feeling depressed and weepy easily
  • Energetic (walked quite a bit – the distance between four bus stops in the morning and the same at night)

Then again, it could be the two cups of coffee that I had this morning. I usually have just one. I must say, Starbucks’ Ristretto Bianco really hits the spot on a groggy Sunday morning before church. Especially when one can save money by ordering a Short instead of a Tall. 🙂

Right.

In any case, I’m heading to Yishun Polyclinic tomorrow morning to attempt to get a referral to Khoo Teck Puat Hospital (KTPH). This is because a good friend of mine had good things to say about the psychologists in KTPH, having worked with them before. One can never be too careful in seeking out mental health treatment options. So I’ll go with what she says even though it is literally at the other end of Singapore from where I stay. Ah well, good thing we are a small country. Hopefully the train won’t break down tomorrow. Hahaha.

Anyway, I’m going there because I need to see a psychologist to do some psychotherapy. I’ve been somewhat stable on my meds for the past 4 years with my psychiatrist but I find that they don’t really help prevent the swings. When my mood spikes or when it dips (aka when I get manic or depressed), I can’t help it, it just comes and consumes me. It sucks big time. And I want to take steps to manage that. Good thing I had Nicole from Tapestry to help me out with that. She’s great!

Okay, I should attempt to get some sleep soon. Till tomorrow!

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